Virgo
|
Pisces
|
Capricorn
|
| You are a complete closet fag. When your father catches
you fucking the family pet, he beats you with his friction deformed
cock and has both of you neutered. What a fruitcake you turned
out to be. |
Join a new club, meet new people and expand your asshole.
Its a time for group activity and increasing the length and girth
of your penis. Masturbation is you key. |
Basically you will never amount to shit. You are more
fucked up than a cancer and will never ever get laid. |
Sagittarius
|
Libra |
Gemini
|
| When
are you going to ejaculate. You have a fairly slow life but that
is because you are extremely obese. Make sure you have money
set aside for a circumcision, because your fucked up looking
cock is part of the reason you can't get any pussy. Some old
hobbies may re-enter your life and your ass (beating off, etc.) |
I'm not even wasting my time on you assholes. |
You
are a fucking queer and you should die. Also you are a cracker,
nigger, wop, spic, mic, kike and a piece of shit at that. Go
to some far away place, hide in a little shack until you develop
some sort of cum bubble in your ass you fucking Homo. |
Scorpio
|
Leo
|
Aries
|
| You are opening your cunt and receiving the beef from
all directions. Travels not important this month Because all
of your free time will be spent getting fucked. Cum feeds your
fat demented ass. You are confused when one of your friends asks
you to dyke out. Do her- everyone will benefit. |
A shiny new dildo ball is in your future. Brief interactions
with an old fuck leaves a load on your best friends forehead. |
Penis enlargement funds take up the most of your money
this month. I think you should get over you penis worries and
get down to business. Cooking up crack is always a good way to
pick up chicks. And since your dick is so small it is your only
option. You are scum and you have a small cock. So, dude, you're
fucked. |
Aquarius
|
Cancer |
Taurus
|
| A
load may be blown into your ass. The rediscovery of your dick
leads to alot of experimentation with masturbation and the theory
of it. I dont think there is any way to stop from being hospitalized,
but when you glass from a beer bottle in your schlong, don't
say I didn't warn you. |
There's no point in solving (or at least trying to
solve) your problems, because the truth is, you're a complete
fuck-up and serve no purpose in existence. Suicide is a reasonable
solution. |
Long
dicks may be the center of your month. Your thirst for hot cum
leads you to question your sexuality. Most of your friends don't
like you because you are a flaming faggot. who spends more time
taking it in the ass than taking phone calls. you are a fucking
queer and need to spend more time jerking off because you are
a waste of a cum shot. |
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